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Dec. 21st, 2008

Joplin, Spectacle Musicals and Sexual relations

I found my Scott Joplin CD like 20 minutes ago! I was so happy. I have been obsessed with this music since I was 3 years old. I don't know why, but I think it has something to do with the fact that my Grandma used to play it every time I was at her house. And she is a kick ASS piano player. She doesn't read music well, but she plays by ear. It is the most amazing thing I have ever seen. I love her!

What is this "Shrek the Musical?" Another spectacle musical is what that is. Has the theater community really run out of creative playwrights? I don't think so. It is those god damn producers that are terrified of trying something new. Don't be afraid to challenge the audience, give them something new. I personally go to the theater to experience something new, something raw, something amazing. Don't get my wrong, those other musicals like Wicked and Shrek and Xanadu are all amazing on the eyes, but there is no depth! The producers are just trying to get their money in and get as many people into that theater. It dissapoints me.

I am lazy. I am in bed, still. and 12:30 in the afternoon. :) Oh well. I am just sitting here, so that doens't count as being in bed does it?

So, I miss her. Both of the hers. And I miss him. I am just all fucked up. What is this Mo? Get your shit back together. Don't fall into the "Oh but he does this but she does this" trap. Just don't. So I am talking to him with a friend last night at McDonalds, and I glance at the door, and guess what? It's him. He comes walking through that door and I thought my knees were going to give out. I want him, but her rejected me, saying that " I just care about my grades and my animals". What is that? He is a farm boy, and I love that, but there is no way in god that this guy can go through the rest of his high school career with out a girl to be there with him. I know him too well. We have been best friends since pre-school. But, it is both our faults. He was drunk, I was smitten. And I made some mistakes. I might have glanced at another guy too long, or let a finger linger. But, what was I supposed to do? He was all over me. And I had to get away! He was attacking my neck like something fierce, my complete and utter weakness. I don't think he would have wanted me to just fuck him right there! Ugh. He got pissed, then all his friends got pissed. Em says I messed with their cirlce of friends. Well I'm sorry. I'll just back out of the circle from now on.
Then there is this girl. I talk to her, and my feeling hit the celing. I want her, I love her! At least I think I do. But, she loves someone else, and I just have to come to terms with that. I am sure that I will get over it knowing me...but then
This other girl pops out of the woodwork. She is kind, gentle and knowing. We have the same answers to every question. I think we might be the same person. Isn't there some philosophy that every one has a twin somewhere in the world? Well, I think she is my inner twin. Patti, HBC, Susan Sarandon. Nape of neck. Dressing room fantasies. We are one! So wierd. So good!

Well will just see where this goes eh? Maybe he will come around and maybe he won't.


Dec. 20th, 2008

Everything is coming up....Christmas?

Ok, I just have to get one thing off my chest. I really do not like Christmas. I know. I'm a Grinch. I really think I would like it if there wasn't so much hype about this and that. I love getting presents, and I love decorations. It's just....I don't know how to explain it! Ok, I will stop now.

I really should be writing that essay I have been talking about, but I can't bring myself to finish it, no matter how hard I try. And I am trying. I think. It's just that I get so easily distracted by Youtube, and Fanfiction, and books. LMAO. Kill me now. Oh, and I am SO pissed at youtube. Sonsofbitches deleted half the videos on my favorites list. I was fuming. It was not one of my better moments. There was excessive cursing going on.

I got the bill for the ONE college class I am taking from the SIC next semester. 300 fucking dollars. Can you believe it? Holy shit. My mom about flipped her lid. Well, it is flipped all the time so lets just say it almost fell off.

The Norwegian is sick. I made her take a shower, drink a healthy amount of Nyquil and go to bed, so maybe she will be OK by Christmas. I feel bad because I know she got it from me. I told her thats what she gets for drinking after me. I also realized that Christmas is next week. Wow, when did that happen?

We went to Lambert's Cafe in Sikeston today. I had never been there for some ungodly reason. My parents drive the 2 hours to eat there all the time. Don't be afraid to take your only child. Anyway, it was really good! I was surprised at how big it actually was. And I ate too much, and then took half my meal home. I hate eating around the Holidays, but you just can't help it. It is just sitting there, calling your name. So of course, I always give in. :)



P>S I am SO changed my layout.

Dec. 19th, 2008


Why is that no matter how hard I try, I can't shake her.
She is always there looming in the back of my mind.
I try not to think about her, but she is there.
In my times of sorrow, I think of her.
In times of happiness, I think of her.
When I want someone to hold, I think of her.
When I want someone to touch, kiss and caress, I think of her.
When I am with him, I think of her.
I have never heard so much as her breath, but still, she is there.
We decided no, but my mind say yes.
My body says yes.

Dec. 18th, 2008

Atend the tale of Sweeney Todd

I am procrastinating. Keep that in mind as you read this.

Today I had to give a 15 minute presentation on the Romantic era with literally almost no voice. I hate being sick. But I didn't ask for pity. Not one but.

I came home and realized that I am totally fucked. I bought presents for everyone but my best friend, thinking I would have time. Now I have no money. No money at all. Maybe a buck. wahhh!!!

I should be writing my college apps essay about the dumb as administration at our school, but I am listening to Les Mouches and reading Libba Bray's A Great and Terrible Beauty for the 5th time. Ugh. But tomorrow I get off for Xmas break.

I need to tell my boss I am not coming back to work because of my panic issue I have to get sorted out, but I don't want to tell her that I just don't want to come back. Not cool. At all.  I hate it, but I know I have to. I'll do it tomorrow. But then again that is what I said yesterday. And the day before that. She'll probably call me, pissed off, asking where the hell I have been.

OK, I am going to try to go back to writing now. Wish me luck!


PS. I discovered a very hot vid of the Sweeney Todd 2005 revival. *gasps* Freaking amazing.

Dec. 17th, 2008

Planet Z

^ This is hot! I love it. This is totally during the coke days. Which might just be my favorite. Just maybe. Les Mouches? Love! And her eyes are so gorgeous.

So dolls, I don't have school tomorrow! I am so ready for a snow day. I was dying to have a day off. School is killing me. :) But, I get to put off all my work till tomorrow, so all my creative aspirations will go right here. On blank pages. Because I feel like I have not written anything legit for a really long time.

First of all, I want to proclaim my love for my new friend Lani! You are fabulous girl! Def. my new "talk to girl" :) Starter Wife watching biotch!

Finally the broadway.com video is up! And Patti is so cute in it! I laughed really hard. " Maggie, I don't audition anymore" Ugh fabulous! I really love her hair by the way. It looks REALLY good on her. I had to stream this video at school, which is really hard to do without getting caught. But I did it. All 12 minutes of it. I was stifling laughter like crazy in the library. I almost peed my self. Not really, but almost :) The librarian was looks very strangely at me, then I ran realy fast. It was great. Always taking risks.

School drama is almost driving me up the wall. I am really close to just saying " Fuck it" and not caring about anything. What kind of teacher assigns 2 15 minute presentations on the week you are suposed to get out for Xmas break. It's bull crap. Grrrrr! &^*&^#*&^# In between being the Sports editor for the paper, writing 3 stories and issue, the situation in Current Events, the spring musical and my panic shit that is going down, I am about to go crazy. And I need to write, I have all these ideas churning around in my head that need to come out. I might do some hard core wriiting tonight. But I need to sleep....

I need to finish my essay for Columbia, but I keep re-writing and re-writing. Its rediculous.

I need sleep, and some good drugs, or cigarrettes. Either will do.

Goodnight Loves



Dec. 15th, 2008

Lyric Driven

Dec. 14th, 2008


There are always life lessons to be learned.

Anyway, this week there is supposed to be a HUGE winter storm. Please god. No School. Please.

We went to Cave in Rock today...it was cold. But it was fun! We went out on foot and crossed to KY on the ferry. The Norwegian loved it. We had a blast. BTW there is NO WHERE open on Sunday to eat. Might as well starve.

Now I am working on my character notebook for AP english.  what a bitch. UGHH!

Andddd Broadway.com lies. LIES! Where is the video bitches?


ok. I'm better now

But not really, because I am sick, and I had to go jack some Nyquil from my mom. That stuff is good.
Here I come Ricola.

Dec. 10th, 2008


So I don't know about anything else, but I am totally digging Ester Goris. I am not even sure people in America know who she is, but I do. She is a phenomenal actress from Argentina. And yes yes I know you are thinking " Hey! That the chick who played Eva Peron in the spanish version." Yes it is her, but I saw Dona Barbara first, so it doesn't count. Her husband is also a presidential conteder for this years presidential election. Looks like he is going to win. How ironic? Maybe she will be the next Eva?

How can you have rivals when no one can do what you can do?

So, today was pretty dramatic. Stupid Staff writers. 6 months and they still don't know how to write a proper story. And us editors get the heat for it. I am sorry, but you can't fix stupid. You just can't. AND my AP class is kicking my ass. I have to write a research paper, I have a major test tomorrow, a paper due on Friday, a notebook due on Monday, a group project on Tues and AR on Wed. Freaking redic. Plus we are posting on Friday, and I have to do layout. I have to work on Thursday and Friday. How am I going to do this? Ughhhh. *Sinks under the covers*

On a lighter note, I only have 7 days of school left before break. That is a little relief, but we don't start a new semester until 3 week after we come back from break. How dumb is that?

And I have to write App. essays. UHHHHGGGHHH.

It would be a lot easier if some particular person was here to hold me while I cry...but no. She isn't.


Dec. 8th, 2008


I just slept for two hours. And it is just now 10 pm. What is wrong with me? I don't feel sick? Or do I? I can't even tell anymore. I was just chatting away and then I popped up and it was two hours later! Sorry Lyss! sheesh. But, I must say that my dream was awesome. <3
We are posting the newspaper this week, and of course I have to work on that day. I hate my life. No, not now I don't...but you get the point.
It is cold and windy outside, and I wish she was here to cuddle, but she has to live a whole country away! what is that?!

and it is FREAKING COLD.

I love a boy named Ryan DeArmon. He is officially my new best friend. Tonight, he bought an airsoft gun, which I have No idea in hell how he got it, he is on parole. Dumb ass ! Then he proceeded to whip it out in my car and shoot peope with it that were talking down the street. He wants to go to jail I think. But I still love him! He gives me cigarrettes :) Its nice.

I also found out today that one of my friends is one credit short to graduate. One credit. He is so artistic, and he doesn't do well in regular classes. So now he has to figure out what he is going to do. Poor baby. I held him while he cried.

Until later loves...

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